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Post by Dr. Robert Gotcher on May 26, 2021 2:30:26 GMT
Are we typically harder on ourselves for our sins, or softer than we ought to be?
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Post by steveheun on May 16, 2023 17:59:12 GMT
I think generally we as humans give ourselves too much latitude when it comes to our reaction to sin. Given the moral relativism and secularization we see in the world today, there are significant numbers of people who don’t even understand the concept of sin. The separation it causes from God. If we take this from a strictly Catholic standpoint, only approx. 40% of those identifying as Catholics go to confession on an annual basis with 35% stating that they never do. For many that means the separation from God is permanent. That is damning in and of itself and provides a barometer of how we view sin and the impact on our ability to obtain eternal life with Christ. If people looked at all their actions through the lens of how God views us and how we should act on His behalf, I think the answer to this question would be significantly different and we would take our committing of sins much more seriously.
Personal freedoms to do what we want, when we want and how we want has reduced our will to strive for the virtues of sacrifice, obedience and discipline to a level that we feel it is easier to look the other way with our transgressions, especially the sins of the venial type. Our culture gives a pass to poor behavior. We blame our sin on others instead of taking personal responsibility. Our own desires delude us into believing that some sins are so minor that they can be ignored. This is obviously false but can be remedied if we focus on our relationship with God by not focusing on worldly things, but spiritual things. Taking our sinful nature more seriously in our relation with God will be our greatest reward.
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Post by Tom Brefka on May 19, 2023 15:39:16 GMT
I believe many people are harder on themselves for sin. Looking at the numbers of 40% of Catholics going to confession annually and 35% that never go, I believe this is either because of guilt or fear. Many Catholics are guilty of even the small sins they have committed and they often fear having to verbally announce their shortcomings. As a Pastoral Care staff, we offer Reconciliation twice a year with a larger Reconciliation Service followed by time for individual confessions. This Spring, there were over 60 people at the service, but less than half took advantage of the individual confession time. I do believe many of them did not participate because of the guilt or fear, but several also did not participate for other reasons.
I'm not entirely sure what other reasons would keep Catholics from participating in confession especially when they attend a larger service with the opportunity to attend right in front of them.
Personally, I am hard on myself and often feel more guilty than I probably should, but not everyone has the same feelings.
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marc
New Member
Posts: 8
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Post by marc on May 26, 2023 2:47:36 GMT
This can be an issue in either direction. Too lax on one end of the spectrum and too scrupulous on the other. On an individual level I think it comes down to the personality and the level of commitment to God one has in their lives. In the religious sphere you have both ends of the spectrum, even super lax homilies, or priests advising people it is ok to use birth control, or...well I won't get into germany - way to morally lax and even missing the point. On the other hand, you have some that are so rigid they forget about love of neighbor and are overly focused on even minor imperfections, and this can be trouble too. Some saints struggled with scrupulosity even, but they are still saints - seems like the less dangerous end of the spectrum to be on, but still something to watch out for. The harder on sin end of the spectrum is able to see the seriousness of sin at least. I would say I feel most of the people active in the parish life (not the parent that drops their kids off at CCD and runs before someone talks to them), but regular church goers, people trying to live their faith - I would say majority of them are well balanced enough and appropriately balanced - by majority I'm going to go with my personal guess of 52% lets say...the rest...too lax. I have overheard regular parishioners agreeing abortion should be ok in certain cases - big problem there.
As for the world outside the religious sphere, I don't want to say it is morally bankrupt there are many well intentioned people but yet it seems outside the church they have so many gods that are not God that people do not have time to consider what is sin and not. Too busy doing other things it seems. So they are definitely not hard on themselves since they are not giving it much thought at all.
I will agree with Tom's comment above about fear. I would agree some do not come to faith or live out their faith at a higher level because they are afraid of having to face their sins.
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Post by Kevin Doll on May 27, 2023 21:54:36 GMT
I think it is a both answer. If I look at me personally I can justify many things that are questionable if they are truly a sin or not. When I take them to my confessor he will help me through these thoughts. When it comes to something I know is a sin but I do it anyway again and again I can be really hard on myself for doing it again. In the contrition we ask for help to sin no more but our human nature leads us down the same path again and again. When I do this I really am hard on myself.
When it comes to the general lay person in the church I feel they justify their sins more and more as the secular world tells them it is OK. If Satan tells you again and again it is OK you have an easier time believing it is OK. In that regard they are too soft on themselves. I don't hear a lot of sermons on sin and the detriment they have on your relationship with God. In that regard I feel our clergy are doing an injustice to the people they preach to. I am not saying we need to go back to fire and brimstone every Mass, but a few times a year may encourage a few more people to go to confession and come back to God. That should be everyone's goal to bring people to Christ like our Blessed Mother does every time she is asked. I pray we can follow the Blessed Mother's example and lead others to Christ in all we do and say.
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Post by Chris Lauterbach on May 29, 2023 19:02:31 GMT
I think we tend to go easier on ourselves in our current society. Mark Belling on WISN always says "rationalization is the second strongest human drive." I think he is correct. We have a tendency to try to justify what we did, or are doing and we tell ourselves that what we did was not all that bad. We did it because statements come to mind. We also like to compare ourselves to others and we rely on competition to help justify that what we did was not that bad.
I think that a lot of people lack humility (myself included at times) and are not willing to raise their hands and say they were wrong. Mostly due to pride, but also due to the fact that people don't want to have to admit they did something wrong.
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